grave endings xx

 I downloaded an app for writing blogs and I paid six euro for it. But the thought of texting out a whole blog on my phone is too overwhelming so I decided to record it on voice notes instead. So here it goes..
I’ve decided to go down to make pasta with Jack but so I’ll be back soon x
Hi Mum,  
how’ve you been?
Jack and I were over in the UK last week for Granny’s funeral. We stayed with Von and it was really nice overall just see her and give Granny a nice send off. Everytime I go over to the UK I find myself learning things about the family that I couldn’t have imagined possible. It makes me miss you in a different way, not like longing for you to be here, but longing for information that I am deprived of, that only you (or Von) could give me. While writing this it has occurred to me that it was the first time we visited Swindon without visiting Groveland’s Avenue. So that means that last time we were over, was the last time I will be in the house with Granny. Siobhan says the house feels so empty, as if Granny and Grandfather have both left, which I believe is definitely true. 
There was a big contrast between Granny and Grandfathers funerals, really because grandfather’s funeral everybody was so overcome with shock and dread but this time around we were lucky in being able to celebrate Granny’s life and the life they had together.
While the loss is hard and still maybe a little unbelievable I feel comforted in their knowledge that they can be together again but also be with you in the next life, wherever that may be. 
Moving forward i’m going to try to declutter my life. I started with my room this evening and tomorrow I think I’ll try my social media. I’m feeling quite emotionally tired but I think that is to be expected, and I can try to fix it with a lick of paint here and there. I am looking forward to my future no more than ever with the people in my life and I am excited for new experiences and opportunities.
I don’t have much else to document but I wanted to write down my thoughts, say hello, and push myself to update you.

I know you listen when I speak, and I will miss you forever.
Tonight I’ll sign off as your parents’ granddaughter, and I am both proud and grateful to be able to do so.
All my love to you, Granny, and Grandfather. 
Your wizard, Maeve x