This is addressed to you because I need a push

Hey guys, what's the story?

I had a nap this afternoon so I'm feeling rejuvenated on a new level and with my Life Coaching session going really well I feel like I'm breaking boundaries within myself every day.
You'll  be happy to know that I've outlined pretty much a five year plan and I've feeling very positive about completely university and setting myself up in my own little way.

I have a lot of really exciting things planned as I said but obviously I don't want to share them on the internet for people, who do not directly impact my life, to be able to see them before I get to share the news with my close family and friends. What I will say is, I have a lot of positivity and positive vibes in my life at the minute and I'll continue to keep these good feelings flowing for as long as I can.

I didn't come on here to gloat though, I came on here to seek some good advice and encouragement from my loyal fans! I have only, in the last maybe 3 months, discovered youtube and youtubers and vlogs and that entire lifestyle. And I'm not going to lie, I was first embarrassed for these people who put themselves out their on the internet so openly, but the more I think about it and discover, the more I feel like it is something I would love to be able to do and enjoy.
I mean, vlogging and blogging are the exact same thing except there would be a camera and I'd have to have my eyebrows done a lot of the time.

If you think that I would be desirable content that you might really enjoy then let me know, please!!
Let me know anything you can think of that will have a positive effect on me and my future vlogging journey.

I mean I've posted three selfies in the last week so obviously I've been cured of my insecurities and I'm ready to take on the world!

Watch this space,
Maeve, the chubby witch xo

If being fat is the worst thing about me, then surely I'm wonderful x

Hi Mum, hows it going?

It's definitely the warmest summer that I've ever been alive for.. and for a "big girl", temperatures like this can be a little cruel. I wanted to come on and let you know how I'm coping, both physically and mentally. 

In my life coaching* session the other day, one of the exercises included pondering over the things that give you good energy and take good energy from you, (which was really insightful!) but I was amazed, after I had documented all the negative things that took my energy from me, just how many centered around my perception of my body and how much I seemed to dislike it. 

I have a nice tan line along my forehead as a result from having a fringe and as a result of this, my dreams of wearing a large hair band to keep my face and head cool is just that, a dream.. Although Sarah has saved my life with her "bicycle shorts to prevent chub rub" trick, I am still struggling to find a way to reduce boob sweat and I would greatly appreciate some pointers if anyone has any.

Kyle and I have recently started watching Love Island, and while I openly live for any form of drama that doesn't involve me, these beautiful girls and their gorgeous summer bodies aren't doing much for my self confidence. Working in the sun for long hours is also difficult, because I am caught somewhere in between 'wanting to be comfortably cool and not overly sweaty' and 'wanting to be comfortable in what I am wearing in relation to the body parts I am showing'. 

For me, it has been difficult to try and enjoy things like summer dresses or the beach or even ice-cream, without having this feeling in the back of my head that people are disgusted by me because I do not resemble the young women the reality TV show that focuses around ridiculously attractive people trying to find compatibility to be in with the chance of winning £50,000. 

My homework from my life coaching session was to challenge myself to dispel the negative comments in my head in which I am comparing myself to others in everyday life. So while the girl that I singed up to Amnesty last week had a "desirable" thigh gap; my legs are strong and steady and can carry me wherever I want to go.

The people around me and the people that matter want me to be happy and healthy, for my own benefit and not for aesthetic reasons. 

You'll probably also be happy to know that the shorts I bought for my Madrid holiday and didn't like, miraculously look amazing on me now that its twenty three degrees everyday and I have nothing to wear. While I am still a little nervous/embarrassed to be out in the public wearing things that push my boundaries and force me into self love, if I can inspire or even comfort one other "big girl" this summer I will have done myself proud, and probably you proud as well, Mum. 

I'll leave you with a new concept that I have created for myself in order to remember my self worth and just how wonderful I really am; 

If me being _____ (fat, chubby, over-weight, big, plump, heavy) is the worst thing that I, or other's, can think or say about me, then I must be doing something right as a person. 

I am as wonderful as everybody else out there, I just might be a little sweatier in the heat..

Your Daughter, who is a little sweaty, but determined to enjoy the sunshine xo

*I am not having a mid mid-life crisis, don't worry! I am a guinea pig for my auntie Siobhan in her newest life adventure!

*but if you are having a mid-life crisis you can hit her up.

*also happy birthday Siobhan xo