I got the train home today. The 16:58 in Dun Laoghaire was running 8 minutes behind schedule which meant that I got to catch it. The 45a bus that stops right outside Kyle's estate was late, we were late getting home from Dundrum (doing last minute Christmas shopping) and I was late waking up, so when I managed to run half way down Georges street to jump on a train I was very flustered, but I was also elated.
As I jumped onto the front carriage I was met by the stares of about a dozen people, probably because I had a bag on my back, a bag on my front, and one bag handing from my left shoulder that I was also holding tightly with my left hand, because the straps had begun to rip. When I outwardly shouted "Is this train going to Rosslare?!?" I was met with several "yes"'s, while one man, probably in his late 30's, stood up and asked me if I wanted the seat opposite him in on of those four seater things, which I accepted. He proceeded to ask me if I wanted some help, which I also accepted. The carriage was busy and people were outwardly tired and I was just happy to get a seat.
I slid in opposite the man who had asked me for help, I sat beside a man with a computer, possibly doing some office work. There was a can of lager on the table, belonging to the man who had helped me. He told me his name a while after we began chatting, but for the purpose of this story I'll call him Ronan.
I took my earphones out of my pocket, text Kyle and told him that I had made the train, I rang Jack to let him know I'd be in Gorey about half six, and then I began listening to music. Ronan asked me quite loudly if I'd been Christmas shopping, I told him I had and that I was going home for Christmas, he told me that he had gone to Belfast for the day and that he was on his way home, I nodded.
Robert asked me where I'd gotten my glasses, I answered. He told me that they suited me. He told me that he only needed glasses to see when he was reading the "newspaper and books and thing". He asked me if I read books. He told me my glasses made me look "sexy".
Ronan asked me if I was married. I told him that I was too young to be married at 20. He told me that marriage wasn't for him. He told me that this time last year he had his heart broken by a woman. I didn't inquire. He told me that she was "doing the dirt" with two other men and that she "didn't have the balls" to tell him herself. He told me that he found that information out from his father. He told me that he couldn't understand why she was seeing other men, because they had "a great sex life".
Ronan asked me about my sexual experiences. When I declined to answer, Ronan said "I love girls like you, curvy girls, men love bigger women." He asked me where my boyfriend was (even though I had offered no information about Kyle). He wished for me to be treated right by Kyle. He said "They don't come round often, girls like you."
Ronan told me that I had a beautiful face, that I had beautiful brown eyes, that I had a nice big smile. "I bet you have nice breast to match." Ronan grinned. Ronan then told me he was going to the bathroom.
The man beside me laughed and said "I bet you're glad you sat here" and when I asked the man if he could join in the conversation and direct the attention away from me, he told me that he had had to deal with Ronan the "whole way from Connelly station" and that he was sick of him. I told the man beside me that I felt uncomfortable. The man remarked telling me that it would probably be much worse if I was alone.
Ronan came back and touched my shoulder as he walked by.
Ronan asked me if I was in college, told me his sister went to DCU and was now living in America, Ronan asked me if I was in college again.
Ronan told me about his dog. He told me that he was going to get his dog a girlfriend next year, to breed a litter. Ronan said "I bet you know exactly what that's about" and grinned at me.
I sat on that full carriage for an hour and a half, I sat surrounded by people and was entirely on my own, even after asking the man beside me for help.
I was wearing a black top with long sleeves, I was wearing jeans, I was wearing black Doc Martins and I was wearing a coat. I didn't wear makeup today. I couldn't move because I was overwhelmed. I had so much luggage and there were very few seats on the carriage I was in.
I don't know why I should even feel the need to answer these questions. There were dozens of people who saw that I was made visible uncomfortable by this man. I was hunched over, I was speaking quite low and I was trying to make eye contact with every body on the train except Ronan.
I didn't asked to be his focal attention.
I didn't present any information about myself than was asked.
I didn't dress today to be deemed "sexy" by a drunk man on a train carriage.
I was only trying to make it home for Christmas.
I just wanted to let you know,
Your daughter who also happens to be a wizard xo
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