A lot has happened since I last logged on to blogspot and if I had to use a word to sum it all up I wouldn’t hesitate to say it’s been challenging. I feel like I have been focusing on so much and stressing over things that I can’t change, while completely forgetting about the most important thing, myself.
This whole birthday thing has been difficult from organisation, snow and what I’m going to actually wear, and that’s only the problems that I know I can fix. Interconnecting relationships are difficult and that’ll continue to be the way in every aspect of my life, and I’m only beginning to realise it now as I’m getting older. Maybe because my birthday has been dragged out for so long now I’m feeling like I don’t actually want one at all, when really the only thing that should matter is that I get to spend it with the people I love.
I think maybe with the end of college (possibly) looming I’ve become a little frightened and my urge to be at home whenever possible is stronger than ever.
Never the less, I’ll plump up my under skirt and plaster on a smile. The next couple of weeks will be testing for me and I’ll just have to put my head down.
I am strong, I am magical, and I am well able.
Last night, somebody who I think is really cool told me that she thought you were really cool, and that at a family function when she was overwhelmed you told her to “just eat the cake and get over it.” and that is the advice that she gave to me. So once again Mum, it looks like we’ve come full circle.
Usually Mother’s Day is really difficult for me, but this year more than any other, I’ve allowed and accepted the love that Siobhan was trying to give, but that I was never willing to receive. So this year Mum, my heart is not heavy, it is very light and soft. If it can’t be you in this lifetime, I am grateful that it is Siobhan.
Happy Mother’s Day,
I love you, I miss you, and I am proud to look and move like you.
Your daughter, the wizard xo
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