Jacks making pancakes in the kitchen x

I promised my life coach (Siobhan Cassidy) that I’d write at least three times a week for the next three months, I haven’t done that, but I’ll write now and it’ll be great and make up for the fact I haven’t written. I’ve also just had 3 hour nap, so I’m not in a very good place.. don’t judge me it’s my midterm.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote to you, this time last week, we were over in Swindon with Siobhan and Katie over the weekend. For the most part the trip was okay, but the people that need to know what’s going on do, and the other people don’t really matter.

I came home last night to Gorey and went out with the girls, it was a very good night and I was quite drunk, and so I am once again thankful to Caitlin and Robyn, who looks after me and made sure I got home safe. I could write about last night but I won’t, instead I’ll write about something a little bit more topical.

I’m going to write about the boys who’ve wasted my time.
(This isn’t about Kyle, Kyle and I are fine and in love)

There are probably tens of thousands of boys who have wasted my time, some of them in fairness probably never knew they were wasting my time, so sorry to those ones..

I want to let them know that I am okay for the most part, sometimes things get hard and I get low and I sleep a lot and don’t eat well, but usually I have no complaints. I’m seeing someone now, he’s my soul mate I think, so we were probably never going to work out anyway.
I want to let them know that I still think of them, my body still tenses sometimes when I am reminded of some of them, by a smell or a song or a strong accent.
I want to let them know that sometimes they still cross my mind and maybe I linger over some of them more than I should, and I will never punish myself for that, I am only human after all.
I want to let some of them know that I still care..
I want to let the rest of them know that I don’t care at all, but regardless wherever you are I hope they’re happy and healthy, because I dont think that it would benefit me to spend time hating them.

I am not a product of any of the boys that made me cry, but I am a product of the tears. Stronger and more resilient. I am a warrior princess.

I am made of stardust. I am made of parts of the universe that haven’t been discovered yet. And I will never ever need a man to make me a whole person, I have enough inside me to create an entire community.

You probably know Mum, that Swindon was hard. I miss you desperately and being with your family only reinforces the feeling that I want you now more than ever.

I’ll be back soon,
The adult wizard daughter you left behind xx