Because I missed it

Well, it's been a hot minute since I've last written.

My week has been a roller coaster and all I wanted to do when I got home this evening was write about it and even though I don't have anything in particular to say it feels so safe and good to have my little laptop on my lap and the little letter keys under my fingers. It feels like home.

I remember when I first began writing a blog, at the tender age of 15, I felt like I had nothing to write about. Looking back now I find this a little humorous because all of my private work, mainly first person narrative, focuses a lot around the time in between when I was fourteen up until just after my eighteenth birthday. Back then when I would write I would mainly describe my surroundings, which included smells, sounds, sights and whatever else seemed really interesting at the time, before I understood how much magic a singular person could have inside them.

When I was sixteen I read far more books than I do now. I remember vividly reading John Green's line about how his character didn't know what souls were made from, but that she knew her and her boyfriends soul were made of the same thing, and I think it was maybe then that I thought I understood everything about the world.

But sixteen is almost six years ago, and the further I get from it the more I understand that I possessed the same magic then as I do now. I was born with the same amount of magic in me as I have right now, as much as I had yesterday and more than likely the same amount that I will have tomorrow.

 I don't know what I'm trying to say with all this to be honest.
All I know is that, the more I search for stars at night time, the more I see,
And the less friends I have the less friends I realise I need,
And the more I dance around the bedroom, the kitchen, the bus stop (or anywhere really) with Kyle, the more I love him and enjoy him as my team mate.
And the more time that comes between the sad things in my life that have happened and me now, the more magical I understand myself to be.

See ye later Mum, still miss you everyday.